It’s not Book Sale’s fault to set up branches near my home and near my mom’s salon. It isn’t Starbucks’ fault that I feel obligated to fill up my promo card with stickers, thus making it a fundamental requirement to stop at every Book Sale branch in Festival Mall (there are two).
Today I paid for two books. An early book by Roddy Doyle, whose sensibilities I’ve heard and read about and really love mostly because he’s Irish. The other is a brief memoir by a relatively new author, Amy Fusselman. The latter is lauded by David Eggers, Zadie Smith and Rosie O’Donnel. I’m not a fan of all of Rosie O’Donnel’s work (maybe I misunderstand her), and I haven’t read David Eggers or Zadie Smith although I know who they and how stellar they are.
So there lies my problem. I have over 400 titles in my personal library (a weak estimate), more than half of them bought at second hand bookstores like Book Sale.
I have a love affair with Book Sale. This love affair has already reached the same level as an addiction: it’s an embarrassing. A few years ago, I would try to hide my newly purchased books from my parents but they’d wonder at why my bag looks like it’s stuffed to point of bursting. They do not wonder simultaneously about where my growing collections of books are coming from. Friends tend to take secrets in better than parents, but I must have stretched the limits of their understanding. I saw two other books that bear similar affinities (blurbs by literary notables) and I had them reserved for pick up tomorrow. I should stop. My manfriend thinks the world of me, and he knows that I have a crap load of books. He might say just call it crap anytime now.
"I can’t help it" isn’t an excuse, and a lame one, if ever executed in my defense. What’s even more lame is that I’m such a restless and slow reader. As much as I love books and reading, I can’t sit still sometimes and if the action is picking up or if I’m getting affected by the way events are unfolding against a character’s knowlege, I need to pull over and stop.
Right now, I’m reading a fantasy by Charles de Lint. Again, I was sold on the blurb Marion Zimmer Bradley, whose Mists of Avalon, Firebrand, and Lady if Avalon I have on my shelves but haven’t read yet.
This kind of obesity is better than overeating, which is what I’m thankful for. Of all the vices I have chosen, I chose a timid kind of entertainment that requires nothing of me but a harnessed attention and an active imagination. Those things shouldn’t be hard to conjure. Now that I should tell myself.
A few things that I have to admit, before the rest of the year unfolds and carries on. 1) I did a little soul searching before Christmas, and I wondered if I wasted the last 5 years of my life. It’s a legitimate thing to think about, but considering that I am not the only person who thinks this way, I will have to rethink this. Sometimes, it’s the simplest answer that makes all the difference of 5 lost years, which turns out not to be lost completely. 2) I can’t stand it anymore. The last few days have met me with conversations amongst family about homosexuality. One family member is totally averted to gay people, while another family member thinks that “you can’t get anywhere without running into a gay person.” I am sorry that I had to run into these conversations. I had to walk out of these conversations. Hindi ko na kaya. So while I’m at it, I have to admit further that: a) I am pro-gay, and therefore pro-gay marriage. Marriage is marriage, and it shouldn’t be exclusive to heterosexual relationships. b) I believe that you CAN be gay AND Christian. Long story. c) I’m STILL Christian, as I cannot think of myself believing in anything else that the triune godhead, and I do believe that God is bigger than homosexuality. So Chillax. 3) I still totally feel like I wasted the last 5 years of my life. But for what it’s worth, tonight was awesome. I had a Wii party at home, with people who matter. We only had Wii Sports, Wii Resort, Racquet Sports (not sure what it’s called at the moment), and Super Mario Galaxy. We talked while owned it on Wii Resort, and the conversation only intensified when we accompanied it with Swordplay Showdown. Think aggression, pent up anger, frustration, and Gestalt. It was great. I know that a New Year post including the travails of the past year should have been in order, seeing as I have been TOO silent a blogger for my own good. 2010 was a year of flying past the crap that gets thrown my way and smiling in the face of epic failures that happened to involve me haplessly. On the other hand, 2011 will be about me. Having said that, my New Year’s resolution with thereby be: I will blog more frequent than sometimes, and this will the first of many.Yes, this will the first of many. I have been silent because blogs have effects that are surprising and dangerous or both. Also, I was silent out of respect. To say “I’ve had enough of this bu****it*” is equal to “No more Mister Nice Guy,” if a few handful of you get my drift. 2011 is going to be awesome. For me, at least. And the people I love, and the people I played Wii with earlier, and the kids I bump into at ATC.