The only thing helping my anxiety is the 70’s rock station on Pandora. Reading a fictionalized graphic novel about the Templars had to be out on hold for the moment.
I feel on edge. I hadn’t had a phone conversation with anyone in more than a week. I hadn’t written in a week. I can’t even bake, cook or crochet.
It’s so weird how the drastic changes in my life ironically make me forget that I’m young. When my family moved to the Philippines, it was never explained to me what was going on. My parents just told me that we were riding an airplane. I met adults who loved to pinch my cheeks and spoke to me in an language I couldn’t understand. It freaked me out how the money coming out of my mother’s wallet wasn’t the same green.
I needed answers for questions I didn’t know how to ask. And I’m in that same spot right now. The sense that things aren’t the way they were is deeply felt. At the same time, it’s like there’s nothing I can do to go back.
Tonight’s anxiety dream should be fun though…